Una donna è il cerchio completo. Dentro di lei c’è il potere di creare, nutrire e trasformare.
D. Mariechild

Nell’articolo di questo mese vorrei parlare dell’ attività coordinata dalle nostre colleghe: “Il cerchio delle donne”. 
Di cosa si tratta? È uno spazio di confronto e condivisione per donne di tutte le età, creato apposta per dare la possibilità a coloro che partecipano di confrontarsi su determinate tematiche, rivedere la propria situazione personale attraverso un punto di vista diverso, e sentirsi anche meno sole di fronte alle difficoltà quotidiane. Il senso di solitudine purtroppo è molto comune in coloro che vivono eventi negativi: in questi casi sembra che nessuno ci capisca e che solo a noi possa capitare un evento così sfavorevole. In realtà questa è solo una percezione personale distorta: il nostro cerchio ha proprio lo scopo di trovare un filo rosso che accomuna donne di età diverse, con professioni differenti e situazioni lavorative e relazionali svariate. 
Dal nostro primo incontro sono emerse tematiche molto importanti sulle aspettative che le partecipanti stesse avevano per questo gruppo: la possibilità di condividere, di avere solidarietà femminile, di trovare un gruppo diverso in grado di sovvertire le solite dinamiche gruppali di leader e follower in favore di una uguaglianza e una complicità tra le partecipanti. E così è stato! 
Siamo partite dal brainstorming sulla “condivisione”: ‘cosa vi viene in mente se vi dico condivisione?’ Alcune partecipanti hanno pensato alla condivisione con i figli, un atto amorevole ma allo stesso tempo molto complesso: condividere vuol dire accogliere quello che il figlio ci riporta, anche se molto difficile, e cercare di dare delle risposte. Altre donne hanno pensato alla condivisione delle proprie esperienze e delle proprie difficoltà con altri adulti. La chiave di lettura in questo caso ha assunto una nota sia positiva che negativa: nel primo caso condividere vuol dire arricchirsi perché si porta una parte di sé e ci si migliora a vicenda. A volte però la condivisione può assumere un valore negativo perché può dar seguito ad una “fregatura”, ovvero si apre il cuore ad una persona e questa non coglie il valore di quanto detto, facendoci sentire svuotati e non compresi. Quando le persone condividono una parte della loro storia attribuiscono inconsciamente un valore al racconto, e la stessa cosa fa colui che riceve questa condivisione. Sfortunatamente non sempre vi è coincidenza tra i due punti di vista, e il rapporto può interrompersi proprio per questa incomprensione. Cosa succede se una persona condivide e si sente svalutata? Potrebbe perdere fiducia e chiudersi, mostrando diffidenza verso l’altro che viene visto come incapace di accogliere le nostre sofferenze. 
A tal proposito due frasi molto belle emerse durante la discussione sono state “non è un problema mio” e “sii più forte tu”: quando le nostre aspettative vengono disattese, spesso ci si auto rimprovera, ci si chiede cosa abbiamo fatto di male e cosa avremmo potuto fare meglio. Le frasi emerse durante questo incontro mostrano proprio la voglia delle partecipanti di distanziarsi da questo meccanismo autopunitivo, in favore di una maggiore comprensione dell’altro: “Come mai questa persona ha reagito così? Se fa così è un suo modo di rapportarsi: che informazioni ci da su di lui questo comportamento?” 
In conclusione, grazie a questo primo incontro sono emerse tematiche molto importanti, ovvero la difficoltà di condividere parti di sé ma anche la voglia delle donne di mettersi in gioco, per trovare quella solidarietà femminile che nella vita di tutti i giorni è un po’ carente. 
Il nostro “cerchio delle donne” è un gruppo aperto senza vincoli sulle presenze, proprio per stimolare la motivazione e non l’obbligo della partecipazione.

Grazie alle nostre fantastiche partecipanti.

Dott.ssa Bosco Giorgia, dott.ssa Decker Alice e dott.ssa Galuppo Valentina 

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