CIRCOLO DELLA SICUREZZA: GENITORI SUFFICIENTEMENTE BUONI E BAMBINI PIÙ SICURI

Dott.ssa Giorgia Bosco |
Marzo 17, 2020 |
9:35 pm |
111 comments

Essere genitori è un mestiere complicato e pieno di responsabilità. Spesso si ha la sensazione di sbagliare tutto e si vorrebbe tanto avere una bussola che faccia da guida attraverso le scelte che quotidianamente si è tenuti a fare. L’ambiente intorno a noi, inoltre, non sempre ci aiuta, anzi spesso contribuisce al farci sentire inadeguati. Se poi ci mettiamo in mezzo lavoro, vita di coppia, parenti e bollette, rischia di scoppiarci la testa. A volte poi, sono i nostri stessi figli che sembrano remarci contro, improvvisando scene apocalittiche al supermercato, puntando i piedi poco prima di andare a scuola, facendoci disperare per fare i compiti e molto altro ancora…Che fatica! Ma che possiamo fare? Esiste la bacchetta magica?
La risposta purtroppo è NO. Nessuna magia renderà il vostro piccolo docile e buono come lo sognavate, né renderà voi pazienti e rilassati come un monaco buddista ogni volta che lui sbotta. Però uno strumento che possa fare da guida esiste. Si chiama circle of security® (circolo della sicurezza), un programma psico-educativo basato su 50 anni di ricerca scientifica e ideato in America da Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper e Bert Powell. Il circolo della sicurezza non ha la pretesa di far diventare i partecipanti dei “genitori perfetti”, ma semplicemente dei genitori “sufficientemente buoni”. Questo significa che non è importante non sbagliare mai, ma è possibile imparare dai propri errori e riparare la relazione quando ci sono dei momenti di crisi.Ma che cosa sarebbe il circolo della sicurezza? Con circolo si intende rappresentare il movimento interrelazione che sta alla base della teoria dell’attaccamento. I bisogni principali del bambino sono di esplorazione, dove il piccolo si muove nel mondo per imparare e sperimentare cose nuove, e di protezione, dove il bimbo torna dalla sua figura di riferimento per essere accolto e rassicurato. Se il piccolo si rende conto che il genitore è in difficoltà nel gestire uno o entrambi i suoi bisogni, potrebbe smettere di esprimere quel bisogno o segnalarlo in maniera poco funzionale, sviluppando un pattern di attaccamento definito insicuro.
Il programma si suddivide in 8 incontri (di gruppo, di coppia o singoli) i cui obiettivi principali sono:
– Identificare i bisogni del proprio bambino e comprendere in quale parte del circolo si trova (ha bisogno di esplorare o di essere protetto?)
– Contenere e organizzare le sue emozioni, in particolare durante una crisi.
– Riconoscere la propria “musica dello squalo” per capire quali sono le situazioni che ci mettono particolarmente in difficoltà.
– Riparare la relazione dopo un momento di crisi, al fine di rafforzare la relazione.
Durante gli incontri si utilizzano video ed esercitazioni per permettere al genitore di sperimentarsi e di confrontarsi con gli altri partecipanti o con il partner e il conduttore.
Perché questo programma può essere utile? Perché la ricerca (basata sulla teoria dell’attaccamento di Bowlby) ci dice che con genitori sufficientemente buoni, i figli crescono con una maggiore autostima e senso di sicurezza. Inoltre, ne possono trarre beneficio sia genitori con figli tra gli 0 e i 18 anni (non è mai troppo tardi!), sia tutti coloro che si prendono cura di bambini e ragazzi a diverso titolo.

Autore: Dott.ssa Giorgia Bosco

Category
Età evolutivaGenitoriPsicologia
Tags
bambinibenesserefamigliagenitorisicurezza

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