
“Ed Argo, il fido can, poscia che visto
Ebbe dopo dieci anni e dieci Ulisse,
gli occhi nel sonno della morte chiuse”
Per questo articolo ho deciso di collaborare con un professionista che stimo molto, Il Dottor Antonio Del Sonno, Medico Veterinario specializzato in animali esotici. La tematica sulla quale abbiamo scelto di confrontarci è sicuramente molto difficile da affrontare, sia per i professionisti coinvolti, sia per le persone stesse che devono far fronte a tale situazione: l’eutanasia del proprio animale domestico e l’elaborazione del suo lutto.
Gli animali hanno sempre fatto parte della nostra vita, a partire dall’infanzia quando nelle favole venivano usati per descrivere metaforicamente alcune caratteristiche umane e quando, in alcuni casi, sono diventati proprio dei compagni di vita per persone adulte e della terza età. Tra l’uomo e il proprio animale si crea un legame così profondo che il momento della malattia e della perdita diventa motivo di grande sofferenza, quasi al pari di un lutto umano. In certi casi per evitare le inutili sofferenze al proprio amico a quattro zampe si richiede al proprio veterinario di effettuare l’eutanasia, ovvero la “dolce morte”.
Come spiega il Dottor Del Sonno “l’eutanasia viene effettuata quando, purtroppo, con le terapie mediche non è più possibile controllare una data patologia e la qualità di vita dell’animale è diminuita, ossia non si esplicano le normali azioni di un animale, alimentarsi, bere, espletare le grandi funzioni organiche, giocare, esplorare. Da un lato noi medici dobbiamo far capire che è un atto altruistico per l’animale e quindi aiutare anche i proprietari nella metabolizzare tale decisione, d’altra parte dobbiamo noi stessi elaborare il lutto di un animale che magari seguiamo da diverso tempo. La nostra parte più difficile è proprio questa: far capire ai proprietari che è un atto d’amore e non una mancanza di rispetto per il fedele amico.
La relazione che si instaura con i nostri amici domestici non è costituita semplicemente da un investimento emotivo, ma da tutti i benefici che tale relazione porta, come l’aumento della secrezione dell’ossitocina delle beta-endorfine della dopamina, che ci rendono più felici, ci sollevano dal dolore e aumentano le nostre sensazioni piacevoli. Distaccarsi da tutto questo è molto difficile, e per spiegare come avviene l’elaborazione del lutto possiamo usare la TEORIA A CINQUE FASI di Kübler Ross (1990; 2002):
– Fase della negazione o del rifiuto: la realtà non è più accettabile per la persona “No, non è possibile, non può essere successo veramente”.
– Fase della rabbia: costituita da ritiro sociale, sensazione di solitudine e necessità di esternalizzare il dolore e la sofferenza verso terzi “Il veterinario non ha fatto abbastanza, poteva salvarlo” o verso se stessi “Dovevo accorgermene prima che stava male, non sono stato attento, sono una brutta persona”.
– Fase della contrattazione o del patteggiamento: caratterizzata dalla rivalutazione delle proprie risorse e da un riacquisto dell’esame di realtà “Purtroppo lo devo accettare, non posso cambiare le cose, forse doveva andare proprio così”.
– Fase della depressione: costituita dalla consapevolezza che non si è gli unici ad avere quel dolore e che la morte è inevitabile “Non tornerà mai più indietro”.
– Fase dell’accettazione: comprende la totale elaborazione della perdita e l’accettazione della differente condizione di vita “Sarà per sempre nel mio cuore”.
Il Dottor Del Sonno spiega “Ovviamente l’elaborazione della perdita di un animale, come la perdita di un nostro caro, non è semplice e dipende dal rapporto che si era impostato con l’animale stesso, ed è quindi diverso da persona a persona. Ci sono persone che magari conservano giochi, cucce e altro del loro amico, ci sono altri che richiedono una cremazione con restituzione di ceneri, altri ancora buttano via tutto ciò che apparteneva al loro animale per evitare di ricordare. Quindi l’elaborazione del lutto è molto personale”.
L’empatia, ovvero il sintonizzarsi sugli stati altrui e vivere su se stessi parte di quel sentimento, fa parte del nostro essere umani e anche per chi effettua tale operazione, anche se fa parte della professione, non è semplice. “Per me l’empatia è quando il medico sente un legame così forte con quell’animale da stare male a sua volta, da avere anche dei sensi di colpa pur sapendo che magari non c’era altra scelta, tanto da chiedersi ‘Avrò fatto la scelta giusta? Avrò impostato la giusta terapia? Avrò seguito un giusto iter diagnostico?’ Questo è quello che si prova prima di un momento cosi intimo con un animale. Ma la cosa importante è che il nostro animale, anche nel suo ultimo viaggio, senta la nostra vicinanza. Per questo io vorrei che il proprietario assistesse fino in fondo, così che il nostro amico veda come ultima cosa la faccia del suo fedele proprietario”.
Un suggerimento che noi professionisti possiamo dare è quello di vivere ogni momento doloroso non cercando di nascondere la sofferenza, per evitare che questa si possa ripresentare successivamente sotto altre forme, e condividere questo malessere con i nostri cari: parlarne ci aiuterà a rielaborare questo forte dolore e inserirlo nel posto giusto nella nostra storia di vita.
Autore: Dott.ssa Valentina Galuppo
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